Well, okay here is my last post of the blog. about time.
I started this blog in the midst of an extremely hard time of my life.
Now in a sense closing it with a most most excruciating, painful moment of my life.
However, strangely enough, I’m excited about this new journey of trust, in trusting the Lord for new and bigger things. Things that will probably determine my future.
Well, it’s always the 3 main things aren’t they.
Life partner, Career, Friends
one of those days where the tears I cry is the only thing I can only offer to the Lord.
and somehow they are most precious to him.
Hey thanks for reading my post. ending soon.
Well, I’ve been going through alot of taking and looking for advice, from previous leaders of mine, leaders in the church, good friends.
And at the end of the day some contradict, so, the only thing I can do is to trust the Lord. Sometimes I really don’t know if I can even do that. my heart is just so tricky and i don’t really wanna trust it.
But it feels so right, plus there is peace, but at the same time, so many uncertainties which i care too much for.
Well after leading cg yesteday in worship with some of my most intimate songs with the Lord.
I thank Him for giving me a new song to really just sing to Him.
So as I’m ending this post. I just wanna say that Poly and NS combined together during these 5 years, I’ve cried more “heavy” tears than I’ve ever cried in my entire life.
Broken friendships, relationships and dreams.
But all these tears did not drop to the ground, by no means.
“You number by wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?”
I cried all the tears to the Lord, just knowing He was there when I cried was the best experiences of my life.
Well, so here’s me signing off on this blog. Thanks for following and I pray that whoever you are, that you will experience Jesus in an intimate way you never did before.
I trust in you. Whom have I in heaven but you and there is nothing i desire than you.
Don’t know why you put me hear on this earth sometimes when you’re the only one I can depend fully and wholly on.
I just wanna thank you first and foremost by being so so faithful the past 5 years.
Never thought I’d grow so much in your grace and the favour you have for me.
Thank you for showing me that I still trust in myself and in who I am and what I can do.
Abba, Daddy, rid me of myself, help me to depend on you even more like I never did before even as I rest in you till my enemies be made my footstool.
Lord I dunno where to go from here. but I know you’re with me every step of the way.and that’s good enough. your presence goes before me Lord Jesus.
I need you more, than yesterday. and Lord yes, I’ll say the same thing every new day.
I never thought my life would be so dependent on your Love and grace for me.
Thank you daddy for being with me through my heartbreaks, my hopelessness, my filthiness, my inhuman feelings, my insecurities.
Thank you Lord that even in my sin, you are there, in my fears, worries and insecurities, you are here, right by my side.
Lord I give all that I am to you. every part of me. my hands, my life, Jesus, without you I’d fall into sexual immorality, without you, i’d be in jail, without you, i probably wont be able to type this post.
Lord you are my hope, my life, my all in all.
I cast my cares to you Lord. Only you Lord Jesus can understand and know me for who I am.
You LORD being MOST perfect, accepts me, the most imperfect and ugly.
I need more time to understand that, probably through out eternity.
I fall at your feet Jesus.
Thank you that in you there is safety, there is protection.
I cast my cares to you regarding my family, that they would all come to know you. your great love for them, through me Lord. Bless me Lord with an overflow of your love for me.
I cast my cares to you on my life partner and that whoever she is Lord, she’ll be someone that depends fully and wholly on you. Her emotions will be founded on your great and personal love for her. and whoever she is Lord that you bless her with favor with man and with yourself. and that whoever she is O Lord, that I will find favour in her eyes, that I will not have to work for her approval or favour. and that wherever she is, you prosper her and give her the grace to excel in all that she does. Bless her Lord, for your name’s sake.
I cast my cares of going to Berklee into your hands. And that during the next 1 or 2 years in church, you’ll bless me with favour with the leaders and more kingdom friendships who know your heart for them.
I love you Lord. You’re the only one whom I can give me whole heart to, knowing you’ll never disappoint Lord. Here’s my heart Lord. Share it with someone whom you feel will be good for me. I love you Lord for protecting me the past years for not getting into a relationship, thanks Lord, I look foward to what you will do in my life.
Let me not be put to shame Lord Jesus, my hope all of it, is in who you are.
Daddy God, surely, surely you sent you Son to bear my sins and diseases.
Lover and acquaintance were kept far from you Jesus, that I will always be surrounded by them.
Thank you Lord that no evil shall befall me or family and my life partner’s family Lord.
Jesus, thank you Lord that even after type this post Lord.
You receive it, and you’re still with me after I turn off the comp. your love is far above the love of man.
Thank you Lord that the love of my wife will never be able to compare to your love for me. Bless her Lord, that whoever she is, that she will realize that my love for her, will not even come close, to your great love for her.
Jesus thanks for choosing me as your bride. I love you for that, at my worst you gave your best. How much more now having been saved by your blood.
Cover me Lord, in your love, no fear shall prevail.
Hide me in the shadow of your wings.
I will say of the Lord
” HE IS MY REFUGE,
My God in whom I will trust with all that is within me.”
Lord thank you for your favour on my life. I ask for more.
Thanks for walking this journey with me Lord.
As I’m closing this chapter, O Lord, continue to write the new one for me.
Surprise me. :) Thanks Lord. I love you so much, because only because you FIRST loved me!