Caught up in a Scandal of Grace...

Last Post

Fri, 03 May 2013 21:23:49 -0400

Well, okay here is my last post of the blog. about time.

I started this blog in the midst of an extremely hard time of my life.

Now in a sense closing it with a most most excruciating, painful moment of my life.

However, strangely enough, I’m excited about this new journey of trust, in trusting the Lord for new and bigger things. Things that will probably determine my future.

Well, it’s always the 3 main things aren’t they.

Life partner, Career, Friends

one of those days where the tears I cry is the only thing I can only offer to the Lord.

and somehow they are most precious to him.

Hey thanks for reading my post. ending soon.

Well, I’ve been going through alot of taking and looking for advice, from previous leaders of mine, leaders in the church, good friends.

And at the end of the day some contradict, so, the only thing I can do is to trust the Lord. Sometimes I really don’t know if I can even do that. my heart is just so tricky and i don’t really wanna trust it.

But it feels so right, plus there is peace, but at the same time, so many uncertainties which i care too much for.

Well after leading cg yesteday in worship with some of my most intimate songs with the Lord.

I thank Him for giving me a new song to really just sing to Him.

So as I’m ending this post. I just wanna say that Poly and NS combined together during these 5 years, I’ve cried more “heavy” tears than I’ve ever cried in my entire life.

Broken friendships, relationships and dreams.

But all these tears did not drop to the ground, by no means.

Psalm 56:8

“You number by wanderings;

Put my tears into Your bottle;

Are they not in Your book?”

I cried all the tears to the Lord, just knowing He was there when I cried was the best experiences of my life.

Well, so here’s me signing off on this blog. Thanks for following and I pray that whoever you are, that you will experience Jesus in an intimate way you never did before.

Dear Lord,

I trust in you. Whom have I in heaven but you and there is nothing i desire than you.

Don’t know why you put me hear on this earth sometimes when you’re the only one I can depend fully and wholly on.

I just wanna thank you first and foremost by being so so faithful the past 5 years.

Never thought I’d grow so much in your grace and the favour you have for me.

Thank you for showing me that I still trust in myself and in who I am and what I can do.

Abba, Daddy, rid me of myself, help me to depend on you even more like I never did before even as I rest in you till my enemies be made my footstool.

Lord I dunno where to go from here. but I know you’re with me every step of the way.and that’s good enough. your presence goes before me Lord Jesus.

I need you more, than yesterday. and Lord yes, I’ll say the same thing every new day.

I never thought my life would be so dependent on your Love and grace for me.

Thank you daddy for being with me through my heartbreaks, my hopelessness, my filthiness, my inhuman feelings, my insecurities.

Thank you Lord that even in my sin, you are there, in my fears, worries and insecurities, you are here, right by my side.

Lord I give all that I am to you. every part of me. my hands, my life, Jesus, without you I’d fall into sexual immorality, without you, i’d be in jail, without you, i probably wont be able to type this post.

Lord you are my hope, my life, my all in all.

I cast my cares to you Lord. Only you Lord Jesus can understand and know me for who I am.

You LORD being MOST perfect, accepts me, the most imperfect and ugly.

I need more time to understand that, probably through out eternity.

I fall at your feet Jesus.

Thank you that in you there is safety, there is protection.

I cast my cares to you regarding my family, that they would all come to know you. your great love for them, through me Lord. Bless me Lord with an overflow of your love for me.

I cast my cares to you on my life partner and that whoever she is Lord, she’ll be someone that depends fully and wholly on you. Her emotions will be founded on your great and personal love for her. and whoever she is Lord that you bless her with favor with man and with yourself. and that whoever she is O Lord, that I will find favour in her eyes, that I will not have to work for her approval or favour. and that wherever she is, you prosper her and give her the grace to excel in all that she does. Bless her Lord, for your name’s sake.

I cast my cares of going to Berklee into your hands. And that during the next 1 or 2 years in church, you’ll bless me with favour with the leaders and more kingdom friendships who know your heart for them.

I love you Lord. You’re the only one whom I can give me whole heart to, knowing you’ll never disappoint Lord. Here’s my heart Lord. Share it with someone whom you feel will be good for me. I love you Lord for protecting me the past years for not getting into a relationship, thanks Lord, I look foward to what you will do in my life.

Let me not be put to shame Lord Jesus, my hope all of it, is in who you are.

Daddy God, surely, surely you sent you Son to bear my sins and diseases.

Lover and acquaintance were kept far from you Jesus, that I will always be surrounded by them.

Thank you Lord that no evil shall befall me or family and my life partner’s family Lord.

Jesus, thank you Lord that even after type this post Lord.

You receive it, and you’re still with me after I turn off the comp. your love is far above the love of man.

Thank you Lord that the love of my wife will never be able to compare to your love for me. Bless her Lord, that whoever she is, that she will realize that my love for her, will not even come close, to your great love for her.

Jesus thanks for choosing me as your bride. I love you for that, at my worst you gave your best. How much more now having been saved by your blood.

Cover me Lord, in your love, no fear shall prevail.

Hide me in the shadow of your wings.

I will say of the Lord

” HE IS MY REFUGE,

MY FOTRESS,

My God in whom I will trust with all that is within me.”

Lord thank you for your favour on my life. I ask for more.

Thanks for walking this journey with me Lord.

As I’m closing this chapter, O Lord, continue to write the new one for me.

Surprise me. :) Thanks Lord. I love you so much, because only because you FIRST loved me!

totally the same feel, but i would change the lyrics. which i...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:20:41 -0400

totally the same feel, but i would change the lyrics. which i intend to.

"Hope Never Disappoints."

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 09:24:11 -0400

“Hope Never Disappoints.”

- Apostle Paul

Yup song of the season, this blog will close on the 9th June....

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:49:31 -0400

Yup song of the season, this blog will close on the 9th June. ;)

Poly one blog, NS one blog. hahaha. sounds good.

Adulthood, one extremely long blog.

justnooneelsethatcancomparetoyou Lord. thanks for loving me despite all that i am. i know what i...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:38:20 -0400

justnooneelsethatcancomparetoyou Lord.

thanks for loving me despite all that i am. i know what i was, who i am, who i will be without you Jesus. and that’s kinda nothing. but thanks Lord for revealing yourslf through Him. thank you Jesus. for giving up all that you had for someone as evil and useless as me. thank you Jesus i love you for wearing the thorns on your brow.

:)

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 09:15:25 -0400

spiritualinspiration: Very early in the morning, while it was...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 21:21:52 -0400

spiritualinspiration:

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed. Mark 1:35, NIV.

Are you facing challenges today or feeling overwhelmed by your circumstances? Perhaps what you see on the outside doesn’t match what God has placed on the inside of you. The key is: don’t sit around in self-pity, depressed or discouraged. Go out and find someplace you can dream and connect with Almighty God. Go to the park and watch the sunset. Look up at the stars and think about His goodness. Take a break from the environment that seems to be holding you back. Find a place that inspires you, a place where you can meditate on His Word and let your faith be elevated. Stay in a good, Bible-based church where people are going to build you up and not tear you down; a place where people are going to challenge you to rise higher and become all that God has created you to be.

I know people who get home from work every night and watch the same depressing TV shows week after week. Don’t let that be you! If you’re going to enlarge your vision, you’ve got to get out of a limited environment. Put yourself in an atmosphere of victory and success and move forward in the good things God has prepared for you!

the world, and all it’s pleasures and all that it...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:42:54 -0400

the world, and all it’s pleasures and all that it guarantees, will always, always give way at some point.

only the love of the Lord will last, and truly satisfy.

The world has never failed to fail me. Whatever it offers, does not truly satisfy. not even for a moment.

Photo

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 08:06:01 -0400

Photo

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 12:01:26 -0400

My debt is paid, paid in FULL!

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:45:03 -0400

My debt is paid, paid in FULL!

Devo

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 09:01:04 -0400

Devo

Please be blessed by this :) This is also a total no.1 faith...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 22:06:00 -0400

Please be blessed by this :)

This is also a total no.1 faith picture of my relationship with my life partner. Bless me Daddy God!

Photo

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 09:35:08 -0400

Photo

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:25:29 -0400

stephaniesearches: Celestial Light by Ole C. Salomonsen // set...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:13:56 -0400

stephaniesearches:

Celestial Light by Ole C. Salomonsen // set 01

Lord willing, one day I will see these in person.

Honeymooonnnn….. hahaha.

this is crazy alden… this is just amazing… thanks for posting.

it really is. His presence is the only thing that can make Ben...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 00:35:18 -0400

it really is.

His presence is the only thing that can make Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream lose it’s sweetness to me, sin yucky, and smelly toilets smell good.

:) I’m so blessed to have His presence with me at all times bro.

Thank you Jesus, for blessing me. Please draw me closer to you Lord. And help me to always choose...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 21:35:38 -0400

Thank you Jesus, for blessing me. Please draw me closer to you Lord. And help me to always choose the path that leads to life and not destruction.

I’ll never know the extent of how much I will always need you? but show me. please show me how screwed up I am without you and how much my life actually needs you.

Lord you found me and took me out the miry clay, the deepest hellhole, thank you for where I am Jesus.

But please lift me up even higher than before Lord. for your name’s sake, you do this Lord.

I don’t deserve it, never will, but you know my heart, and Jesus only you can satisfy my heart’s desires. thank you for showing me more of who I will want in my life, and more of the kind of girl I will like. but as of now Lord. Help me to see you as the greatest and truest Lover ever. cause i know Lord. no one will ever be able to compare to that love you offer Jesus. I love you. because you first.. Loved me.

I cast my cares to you about my future, my career, my studies, my life partner, my family, my finances, friendships, all to you Lord.

Ask that you remember my beautiful friends in Thailand Lord, that you bless them with the riches of heaven, money on earth, lots of it for your name’s sake yet again.

and Lord that you prosper them in their studies.

Bless farm most abundantly. bless her to do well for her thesis and restore all that she has lost in Jesus’ name.

See you in a while Jesus!

He is.

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 13:31:24 -0400

Lord please help me to always put you as the central focus of my life all the days of my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Been through many things in my life. and some are bad, some...

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 00:23:45 -0400

Been through many things in my life. and some are bad, some hurts, some real good.

but the only thing/one that never changed, is the Lord. and I really thank Him for that. for me, personally, if you knew me, 10 years ago, well, more or less im still the same Jerome.

I tie myself alot to the fact that if Jesus doesn’t change. i shouldn’t either. in terms of identity and who you are.

haha sometimes it’s bad, cause i never once did conform to any party of any sort, be it in church or the office or in school.

Sometimes, that causes me to be alone, but somehow, the Lord was and still always there for me.

I’ve come to actually find the toilet a beautiful and most intimate place to be in with Jesus.

It’s like when im inside, i get teleported else where. best of all, nobody can disturb you.

I remembered back in BMT when my hand injury got worse. I just asked for permission to go to the toilet and said i was having a bad diahorea . Well. I didn’t but. Up to now

I still can remember crying to the Lord so badly. and now when I look back. and whenever I do cry to Him. It’s like He was the same Jesus in the toilet with me back then in Tekong.

Like wow. I still can lean on His shoulder lie down on His lap and just be myself. be extremely vulnerable to Him.

I really thank God for Charis who has taught me to be extremely vulnerable to Jesus. Hi charis! hope ur reading this!

but anyway ya.

Im not afraid to tell Jesus whatever or however Im feeling because He knew all about me, at the cross. He knew my worst.

At a point of my life whereby everything hangs on who Jesus is.

Every part of my life. my health, friendships, career, relationships, finances, studies. like without Him. I know everything will collapse.

I never needed Him this much before? Ya. but I just feel Im thrusted to a whole new level of reliance on the Lord and independence from who I am, and anything that I have.

Please listen to this song. I’ve been playing it everyday on repeat for many hours.

it’s just that spirit of Sonship that God’s been teaching and imparting to me.

It’s a very simple attitude. An open arms receiving kind of attitude.

If it’s not your works. den you can be sure, that you can receive everything He died to give you bro.

Stop striving for it. Myself included you know. Life is simple and easy.